Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Trials and my Life now








Here I am, intentionally skipping college today, trying to be productive at home...
as college classes aren't always productive due to the upcoming trials
which starts tomorrow

But I ended up taking my own sweet time
waking up at 9am, 
wasn't doing anything other than playing CCS 
Candy Crush Saga

Well, I struggle with fear to study as well
I guess I was in "INACTION' state for too long
I fear unexpected things may happen if I start to STUDY again

It's been long since I took my studies seriously
since last year exams I guess
Its was a long time of me not doing anything actively
a long time I struggled.
with many things...
Thoughts
Feelings
Behaviours
People
Classmates
social Life...
Spirituality
the horrible news on papers everyday

Well, 
I believe that no matter how strong is the storm and wind
they will die down soon
I believe it's the time,
I put down all the hurtful past,
embrace it with all my heart
the sad moments and parts of my life
are still mine,
they still belong to me
no matter how much I want them to leave me

Finally
I wish to take this step
FORWARD
I want to continue my journey in Life
Stronger,
With more FAITH, CONFIDENCE, LOVE, HOPE.
I am glad I didn't deal with things on my own
I seek help, and I had help
I am walking, proceeding, letting go, 
Being at PEACE with my mind, with myself, with my soul





When things go wrong, 
I tell myself, 
It's OKAY.
What is done IS done,
I tell myself, 
FIX it. 

Tomorrow's the beginning of Trials for my course
starting with ESL. 
then ECONS, 
with 2 days weekend break
PSYCHOLOGY
MATHEMATICS
then ACCOUNTING
I am taking this trials seriously
although doing last minute revision

I am going for it, 
calmly
praying for His protection, guidance and blessing.

BEING AT PEACE
WITH ALL OF MYSELF

Friday, 6 September 2013

How to let go certainty and control?

Have you ever thought your life is out of your control?  Have you feel the irresistible need to control every single event that ought to happen in the next hour, next day? Have you ever felt the compelling need to be certain of some things before you begin your work/assignment or make a major decision?

Needing remote controls to navigate your life??

Without a doubt, I can say I am a "control freak" of my own life.  As I recalled some of the unpredictable events that have happened in my life, I've since 'learned' the only way to ensure things to go my way is to -- control everything